Someone bumped into my chair and I said sorry.
someone bumped into my chair and i punched them in the face
someone bumped into my chair and I didn’t even give a fuck
someone bumped into my chair and i start a revolution
No one bumped into my chair because they weren’t able to assemble it.
[singing in shower] [simon cowell appears] “its a no from me”
A little girl in my 4th grade class came up to me after recess and said, “I got married at recess!” and I said “Oh? I didn’t know anyone was ordained under the age of twelve.” and she asked me what ordained meant and I explained and then she said “Oh, well, no, my wife and I were married by the slide, but we’ll be happy together anyway.”
So apparently on school playgrounds, slides are already legalizing same-sex marriage.
GUESS WHO GOT SOME APPLE FLAVOURED SHAMPOO
WAIT NO I MEANT SCENTED
DON’T WORRY IT TASTES LIKE APPLES TOO
i just threw up
I’m here if you need someone to talk to x
- me: the fuck is this
- me: who the fuck are you
- me: dayum pull yo skirt down please
- me: walk faster fuckface
- me: fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you
- me: no you're a whore
- me: dont touch me i have more followers than you
- me: i wonder what would happen if a guy with a gun came in right now
- me: pew pew nigga
- me: i'd push you in front of me whore
why am i not a disney princess
cloudy with a chance of why the fuck am i outside
- Interviewer: Tell me about your character in this film.
- Tom Hiddleston: Let me begin with a quote from Shakespeare...
- Benedict Cumberbatch: Do you want the long and thoughtful answer, or the long and thought provoking answer?
- Andrew Garfield: The word "character" can be interpreted in many different ways.
- Jennifer Lawrence: CAKE BALLS.
- David Tennant: I'll quote a poem and be all Scottish and adorable.
- Alex Kingston: That reminds me of a sexual innuendo- oops, I just made an innuendo, didn't I.
- Arthur Darvill: I wrote a song about that on my vintage harmonica.
- Matt Smith: Did you just say "Karen Gillan?" Because, you know, your question made me think of something that happened yesterday, when Kazza and I were platonically hanging out on the bed in her hotel room...
- Misha Collins: I'll say something totally random that probably won't even answer the question and bring up Destiel at least once.
- Bradley James: Colin Morgan